


Letters To A Fusion

by Hufflepuffle4



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Family, Loss, M/M, Multi, PTSD, Romance, Skaeboarding, Tragdey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-07
Updated: 2018-06-25
Packaged: 2019-05-19 08:32:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14870354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hufflepuffle4/pseuds/Hufflepuffle4
Summary: A lonely Pearl writes letters to her owner, Cassiterite, who gave up her physical form to bring twin girls into the world. She writes about their adventures, their lives, and as the girls get older, they begin writing to the mother as well. Join Pearl and the Cassiterite Twins as they navigate life, and learning about Steven Universe.





	1. Chapter 1

Dear Cassiterite:  
It’s been 1 year since you gave up your form to bring your twins into the world. I’m glad you weren't here to see Michael abandon them. He’s been slowly visiting the girls less and less, but today he finally told me it was too painful for him to be part of their lives. I think his mother is finally making him marry that human girl she’s so fond of. It’s their birthday, for heaven's sake, doesn't he know this is hurting me too?   
Alexia and Jessica are both doing quite well. Their gems never seem to bother them anymore, though JEss has a tendency to cry more than Lexi. I think it’s because my Axinite was such a dramatic gem. Lexi certainly takes after her mother, despite having her father’s immense green eyes. SHe’s rather independent, like our dear Onyx was.   
Oh, my Cassiterite I miss you everyday. I miss serving you, and being with you and the other Crystal Gems. I think if I had been able to find Rose Quartz, I would be much happier. I would at least have more help with the girls, or maybe, you would still be here. I love the twins, I do, but I am so alone without you. I miss looking up at your intense golden eyes, knowing the three of us made the right choice to leave Homeworld.   
Oh, how to I tell the girls about their culture? Their history? Michael was supposed to help me, and he promised, but as soon as you were gone, that weakling had a bottle of- I’m not sure what it is, but he was drinking an awful lot of it!  
Cassiterite, I don’t write this to complain, but to remind you how much I miss you. I know I’ll never see you again. But I shall follow your orders to the letter, and raise these girls with grace and dignity. 

Love forever,   
Your Devoted Pearl. 

 

Dear Cassiterite;  
TOday, LExi asked me for the strangest thing. I sent them to a human school, as your journal instructed so they can learn about their human heritage, and Lexi learned about something called “skateboarding?” It’s apparently a dangerous sport, and while I would much rather not let her attempt something so worrisome, I relented, and bought one for her. As I write this, we’re at a park. Lexi is trying her hardest to master this thing, with no knowledge of what it is. Jess is watching and cheering her on. They’re so boisterous, but the doctors assure me this is normal for five year olds.  
If you could see how much these two girls relay on each other, you would not be disappointed. JEss and Lexi walk to their school bus (it’s a large yellow tube that transports children to their school) hand in hand, and sometimes, I swear, I can feel their gems glowing as if they wanted to fuse. They’re not ready yet, but I’ll teach them how when they get older.   
RIght now, however, I need to focus on making sure Lexi doesn't kill herself or crack her gem. WIthout Rose Quartz, we have no way of healing it. Her enormous hair is a mess, and she’s already lost a tooth. She’s been skating for three hours, and insists that she doesn't need to stop yet.   
Jess is still cheering her on. She is such a delicate girl. She loves watching musicals, and knows every Disney song that there is. (Disney is a human thing. A woman I met when the girls were a year and a half suggested Disney as a way to keep them calm. I wish I could properly thank that woman.) Jess is also a dancer, Cassiterite! She does something called Ballet, and is quite skilled. I think its her gem that helps her balance. I know Lexi’s helps her. I also

Oh, goodness, Cassiterite, I’ve never been to a human hospital before tonight. I learned that the girls, if injured will not retreat into their gems like we do. They are simply injured. LExi fell as I was writing before, and broke something odd in her chest called ribs. Apparently they keep human hearts and lungs in place, and LExi tried to jump up on a railing with her skateboard. She’s not allowed on it for a few days. Thankfully, her gem is undamaged. The doctor is unsure what to make of our gems, but he didn’t ask many questions.   
Lexi begged me to keep being allowed to learn to skateboard. I think the next time we go to the park so she can practice, I’ll see if one of the human teenagers would be willing to help her learn.   
Oh Cassiterite, you would have laughed and laughed at this girl. She tried to tell me she was unharmed, as tears streamed down her face. JEss was crying too, worried her sister was going to disappear. (Unfortunately, once I was making dinner, and something rather large fell on me. I’m still not sure what, but it caused me to reform in front of them. Oh they cried for weeks after that.) I assured Jess that Lexi wasn’t going anywhere, and now they’re asleep in their room.   
Lexi and Jess sleep arm in arm most nights, thought I fear soon we may have to move. I’ve reached out to Michael, but at always he is useless. We’re short on money, and I cannot work with them being so young.   
I’ll figure something out. I always did during the war when you were destroyed, and I can now too. I wish you were here. I miss you so much.

Obeidently,   
Your Loyal Pearl.


	2. Introductions

Dear Cassiterite:  
Seven years old. The girls are seven years old, and I still can’t seem to wrap my head around the fact that you're gone. They both have your markings. They get asked all the time about their “stripes.” LExi came to me today and asked about you. It was hard to know who I should talk about. Onyx would have adored her. She’s stubborn, and has her wild black and red hair. People give me looks when we go to the store, because they think that I out “highlights” in their hair. Or had something to do with the marks on her face. They go over her eyes, which I suppose is lucky, since her eyes are such a vibrant green. We can thank Michael for that.   
Jessica, who insists I call her JEssie now, has softer, more manageable hair, just like my Axinite. She’s kind, gentle, and dramatic, just like her. Her marks are smaller, and much easier to hide. She has an easier time at school than LExi does. Everyone can see her gem and at least Jessie can hide hers if she wants to. Human children are cruel.   
You know, Cassiterite, I worry about them. I go to all the odd human rituals, like parent teacher conferences and performances, but they never seem happy at a human school. I can’t stop sending them, you wanted them to be as human as possible. THey just, don’t like it. I worry the lack of a father in their life might affect them, and yet I have no way of knowing for sure. Gems aren't born, we’re made.   
I think soon, I’ll tell them the story of how you two met, or rather the first time I saw you two fuse. You were so happy that night. I’m glad we found Rose and the others. Garnet was so happy to see that there was another fusion, albeit, a much more obvious fusion.   
I miss you less now, but I still wish you were here. Lexi is driving me crazy and killing our funds with her skateboarding and injuries. She has a cast on her leg right, because she fell off of a railing trying to slide down it. I keep telling her to take it slow on those things, but she never listens. She’s so stubborn. Jessie was at dance rehearsal, but I picked her up to take her to the hospital with Lexi. Those two hate being apart. Just like you did. 

Love forever,   
Your Dutiful Pearl. 

 

There was a soft knock on PEarl’s office as she set down her pen.   
“Come in!” She said. THe door creaked open. JEssie was standing in the doorway, with LExi’s hand in hers. They both had tears in their eyes. “Girls? What’s wrong?” Pearl jumped out of her office chair, and knelt in front of them.   
“I had a bad dream.” JEssi sniffled. Lexi nodded with her, obviously still drowsy from being woken suddenly.   
“Oh Jessie…”   
“There was a bright white light. It covered everything, it burned, Pearl.” She started to sob again. Pearl pulled the girls into her arms. Her pale pink hair covered her face as she held them.   
“PEarl?” LExi looked up at her. “Are you crying?”   
“Yes, Alexia. But I’m crying because I hate seeing my girls in pain.” She gave them a sad smile. Jessie had managed to calm down, and wiped her eyes. “Alright, come now. Jessie, you have a big recital tomorrow. YOu need to sleep.”

 

Dear Mom;  
Hi! It’s me, Lexi! I know you don't know me, because you died when Jessie and I were born, but we know a lot about you. PEarl tells us all the time that you were smart and funny, and nice. (I’m Pearl’s favorite, by the way.) She tells me all the time that I’m just like you, but I think she means Onyx. Jessie and I have been going over the journal about Gems you left us, and we want to try fusion, but Pearl says we’re too young.   
I’m 11 years old, I’m totally old enough to fuse. I mean, I’m old enough to be a professional skateboarder. OH YEAH! A weird guy approached me at the park. I’ve gotten really good on my skateboard, he said, and that he was an agent for pros. I asked if he meant like Tony Hawk, and he said not him, but something like that. Mom it’s so cool, I’ve got my first competition tomorrow! I’m gonna kick ass! I learned that word from the teenage boys. They’re super nice to me. They tell me my stripes are rad as fuck, and I said fuck in front of PEarl and I got grounded. But it's okay because I’m ungrounded now.   
Jessie’s writing her own letter too. Pearl said it’ll help us feel closer to you. I don't see why. I have your gem, well one of them, but how much closer can we be? I know i never got to meet you, but I know you’d be proud of me. I’m a total boss. 

Love  
Lexidor

 

Dear Mom:  
My name is Jessica Cassiterite, and I am your daughter. Alexia and I were born at the same time, something our teacher says is impossible. She’s not a gem like we are though. I have the pretty Axinite Gem. Pearl loves to teach me all about you, I think it’s because you owned her on home world. She won’t tell LExi, but I am her favorite. I think it’s because I dance. I can do ballet, tap, jazz, hip hop, and I’m starting to act. It’s super fun. Everyone tells me I’m a natural on stage.   
I wonder what you looked like. Pearl tells me you were beautiful. I bet you were, but I’ll never know. I hope I can be as good as you were. Pearl says you were something called a Crystal Gem, and that's why there only the three of us. She doesn't know if any other gems survived. I try not to ask any questions, it makes pearl sad.   
I have weird dreams sometimes. And then I have a nightmare right after. The dreams are usually about some other gems. One of them is called Rose Quartz, and she’s very pink. Once I dreamed of seeing Rose Quartz shape shift (Pearl does that sometimes when she wants to look more human. That’s usually when we move into a cheaper apartment.) into a large even PINKER woman.   
Then all i see is a bright white light. IT burns, but somehow, we were able to hide from it.   
Did you ever have nightmares mom? 

Love  
Jessiebear.


	3. Competitions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here soon Im going to be switching to a third person, non letter format. I like the letters, but the story will be easier to tell without them.

Dear Cassiterite:  
Lexi had a competition today. This was one of her biggest ones yet, and she won! I'm so proud of her! Jessie was in attendence, and people were amazed. She won a national competition at only 14! She's gotten so good! We celebrated with a nice dinner out for the three of us, and all was well, until Michael walked up to us. The girls looked so confused upon seeing him, but they knew once they saw my face he was important. He was polite, and introduced himself to the girls. They didn't quite understand the gravity of what happened until I spoke.   
"What do you want, Michael?" I snapped. He looked wounded.   
"Pearl, I just wanted to meet them." He muttered. I scoffed at him. Lexi caught on first. Jessie was still staring confused at us. Never in my life, have I seen Lexi look so much like my Onyx. Her eyes were darkened, and she glared intensely.   
"Well, I doubt that it matters now." I said. Michael rubbed the back of his neck. He looked older, but humans age, so I was glad to see his suffering.   
"If you wanted to meet us, why did you leave?" Lexi looked at Jessie. Her sister's eyes widened in shock, as she realized the man in front of us was their father.  
"Alexia-"  
"NO!" She slammed her hands on the table and stood up. Her eyes burned with rage, and Jessie was holding onto her arm. "You left us. You decided we weren't worth your time, so now its our turn. You aren't worth ours." She spat. Lexi sat back down, took a large bite of her burger, and ignored him. Jessie looked at her sister and I. Michael tried to sputter out a defense, but he gave up, and walked off. I followed his movements. He rejoined a woman, a human woman, and a little boy. He looked to be no older than 5. I sighed, and patted Jessie's hand.   
We went home, and Lexi stormed into her room. She hasn't come out yet.   
I would be worried, but Michael got what he deserved, and Alexia had every right to say what she did. I hate him. He promised you to take care of them, and he failed. This is why I wish i could keep them out of human schools and things. They're human too though, and I can't do that.   
I hate humanity. My girls are Gems like we are. They deserve better than this disgusting fleshy suit they're trapped in. 

Love forever,  
You Revolted Pearl. 

 

Dear Mom,  
Why did you love him? He wasn't any good, and now he's trying to waltz in our lives. Jessie and I don't need him. But I guess without him, we wouldn't exist.   
Maybe that would be better some times.

Lexidor

 

 

Dear Cassiterite:

The most amazing thing happened today. The girls fused! For a moment, I thought I saw you! I thought I saw your eyes, your smile, but once the glowing stopped, it was- Well, it was your daughter. Not Axinite and Onyx's, no, YOURS. She had four arms, four eyes, and the most beautiful hair I've ever seen. She looked so human, but she was a fusion! She was so surprised!  
She screamed and they immediately unfused. Oh, Cassiterite, I never thought they would fuse. I'm so happy for them. Lexi and Jessie laid on the floor opposite each other for over an hour, in surprise. TO be fair, they had been practicing Jessie's audition dance for her (hopefully) upcoming role as someone named Heather Chandler? Its a popular musical, I think. They just fused. I had never shown them how, never demonstrated, and oh, it was beautiful.   
They were finally able to fuse again, after sitting for sometime, trying to understand what had happened. I spoke with the new Cassiterite, and she reminds me so much of you. She has brown and pink hair, with dark pink swirls instead of striped like the girls have. She's stunning. I had to explain they couldn't stay like that all the time, due to their personal commitments, and they understood. It was beautiful to see them, as much of a crystal gem as they could be.   
I wish I had fused with you that night, like you had asked. I was so scared. I'm so sorry. 

Signed,   
Your Regertful Pearl.


	4. Jessie's Secret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: NONCON/RAPE.

Dear Mom:   
Something... happened today. Lexi and I were at a party, after one of her competitions. I should have gone home, the school finally got the rights to Hamilton, and I need to rehearse my audition for Eliza. Mr. Burner says I have it in the bag, but that's not important. I met a boy. He was really sweet, and good friends with Lexi. Everyone loves her in this skateboarding world because she's bright, colorful, and smart. I love Lexi all the time, even when she's sad, and angry. I'm getting off track. Sorry. So, this boy and I were hanging out, and I had a drink. That was where my first mistake was I think. Pearl always made us promise to stay away from alcohol. She said it's for humans and its bad. Lexi always has a DR. Pepper in her hands, she loves that gross stuff. I don't like soda, but whatever.   
So, this boy and I were talking, and he kissed me. I liked it at first, but then....  
Mom he got really touchy and pushy. I told him I was interested in it, but he said I had to be. I kissed him. I said I wasn't ready...  
Mom I don't know what to do. He forced me to do..... things with him. I didn't like it. Lexi found me after it happened and took me home. She doesn't know that boy, apparently. Some of her friends do, and she's going to figure out who he is. I didn't even know his name.   
Lexi wants me to tell Pearl. I can't. She'd be so disappointed in me. This is my fault, maybe if I hadn't drank anything, or kissed him I wouldn't be where I'm at right now. I'm so scared, I feel so off, Mom. 

What could I have done differently?

Love,  
Jessica


End file.
